Rest in Peace Bad Girl
Obituary for our Fallen Sprinter Van
Bad Girl, beloved sprinter van and full-time liability, passed from this earth on March 23, 2026 when a fire in the auto shop finally out smoked her. She was a four year veteran of Sneezy tour. She had seen things.
She was born into the Sneezy universe on October 20, 2021, and immediately made her intentions clear: on her very first trip, she leaked diesel exhaust directly into the passenger cabin. A lesser band would have turned around. Sneezy did not. Appeasing Bad Girl became the name of the game, as her bratty disposition was impossible to hide. She was hard to love, and we loved her more deeply for it.
Bad Girl is remembered for her distinctive features: school bus side doors that rattled at any speed over 35 mph, a roof hatch that served as the only AC, and speakers that were more of a gesture toward sound than a delivery of it. The seats had been lovingly removed and replaced with custom arrangements, none of which contained seatbelts, because Bad Girl believed in living by faith. Her interior was a scrapbook of every festival, venue, band Sneezy encountered, and every delirious inside joke commemorated in Sharpie. She held not only the band, but also their memories (and farts).
She broke down constantly and without apology. In January of this year, she made it all the way to Key West, the southernmost point of the United States. It was her most heroic voyage, right to the edge of the map. Out of character, she carried Sneezy through the Florida tour no breakdown. Somewhere in Georgia she remembered who she was, though. The engine started smoking. The band was stranded for two days. Bad Girl reminded us all that she calls the shots.
In lieu of flowers, the Sneezy fam respectfully requests you donate to the GoFundMe so we can bury her properly. And by “bury,” we really mean replace her with a vehicle with seatbelts. The Bad Girl memorial fund will be accepting donations for three more days. After that, our vehicular queen’s stalling, sputtering spirit will finally rest.